Greetings all. Gosh, it seems so long since I dipped the proverbial quill into the ink pot and set about posting my ever-increasing rambly - according to my friend MS ;-) - thoughts to proverbial paper. Hubby and I took a trip to beautiful, tropical, lush (mua ha ha) Home-And-Native-Land to take advantage of the holiday weekend here in the US, the Memorial Day Weekend. Now, this particular weekend pays homage to those folks who served in the American military and also unofficially marks the start of summer, which for hubby and me, seemed fitting, as while we certainly respect the American troops - and hubby's father served in the Canadian military for 20+ years (thank you profoundly for your service, Sir), for me personally, it was more about paying homage to my home town, my dear friends in my home town, my dear family in my home town.....as well as marking my own start of a season as it were, with the ever impending start of my treatment....more in a bit.
Driving through my home town always brings back a flood of memories, too many to mention, most very fond and some too poignant to mention. The house where I grew up - the only home I knew - the house my father built with his own hands, and with the help of his dear brothers, my uncles; the school where I learned to read and write; the park where my dear departed brother and I would spend entire summers playing on the swings, on the merry-go-round, throwing the ball; the now-under-renovation-mega-grocery-store, formerly a Zellers (slowly being rebranded as somewhat lackluster Target stores in Canada) and where there used to be a parking lot, there where I learned to ride a bicycle; the house where my dear aunts and uncle still live and where I enjoyed many Christmas feasts as a child, and where now, as a middle-aged woman, I raise a glass of fruity homemade wine and feast on DEEEEEE-licious homemade salami (yummmmmm); and...the apartment where my brother lived; and the serene, beautiful, hilltop place where his and so many of my loved ones' mortal remains now rest. So so many memories indeed.
And on a much ...MUCH ...lighter note, a lot of food - true to Italian form - and lots of wine - also true to Italian form. And did I mention, loooooots of food and loooooots of wine? There are advantages to not driving. ;-) ....Thanks to all of my amazing, amazing family and my dear dear friend CIF for a great - albeit short - and true Italian weekend. Mille grazie!!!
So, as I mentioned earlier, the major goal of the weekend was to see my family before I started treatment, thinking that by now, everything would be set up. Well, wouldn't you know it? I am STILL waiting for the f'ing phone call about the chemo drugs. I spoke with the oncologist's nurse last week, and naturally, she was all about how she had done her bit, faxed in the form yadda yadda yadda "SOOO sorry!! Blah blah blah ...not my fault!!"....and here I am, one week later, and STILL no blasted drugs. I really want to get this started because once I start it, then I can finish it. I don't want to think about it anymore - I just want to get it over and done with, bald spots, nausea, fatigue and all the other horrible s**t. Let's just get 'er done, right!?!? So....that is where THAT is at.
Once I get the Chem-ecstasy, I can set up the Nukorama. Do you think if I wash down the Chem-ecstasy with a jug of Pinot Noir, it will be fun? I think I am going to treat myself. WTF. Totally kidding. Maybe. I won't do that s**t. I will only treat myself to a glass of wine when my hair falls out. Side note here - for those of you who know me well, you know that I have not had anything at all to drink in 16 months - not that I had a problem, not at all; I got fat so I had to give something up. And I still wanted to eat. So I bid adieu to vino (the only thing with an alcohol content I drink except beer when I visit my brother and my cousins!)
Dear readers. My apologies. A confession. I must admit that the "flow" just isn't happening ce soir. For a number of reasons. Trying to be positive, especially after a great weekend, but candidly, I am struggling today. I learned this morning that a dear dear friend's father passed away of cancer and the funeral is later this week. Another dear friend's sister passed away last week and the celebration of life was this past Sunday and sadly, hubby and I missed it. And the dear young man of whom I wrote last week - well, his service is Thursday this week. It just seems a little overburdensome at the moment. That (S)He is taking quite a few folks and at the risk of a resounding chorus of "no DON'T", well, .....it is on my mind. That is all I am saying about that tonight as I am going to reflect on all the beautiful happenings this weekend, count my blessings, think positive thoughts that the #%^{^~* drugs will get here and then I can start the Fiesta, that I have so much for which to be grateful. Glass half full. Glass half full. Glass half full.
I will write a tribute to my dear friend's dad tomorrow and until then, sending her and her family our love, bone-crushing Estonian hugs, prayers, strength, courage ....
Thanks for reading and for listening, as always ...from the bottom of my heart - thank you.
Stay strong, Toronto.
Cancerella and Buderello
xoxoxo
Great wknd had by both of us with the familia. They are the true strength to both of us (I'm confident in saying that as I know they are for you, and I found that foundation also).
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't just family, but our dear friends also who bouyed, cajoled and shepherded us in a delightful vein of thought.
My thought for a sign off would be Douglas Adams line from 'A Hitch Hikers Diary to the Galaxy', "So long and thanks for all the fish"
A delightful weekend indeed ....next time, we will stay a little longer as the visit was simply too short. (not enough vino!) With each passing year, I love them more and appreciate them for their steadfast support....and know and feel in my heart what the whole Italian family love bond means .....it is quite special and I am so glad you are part of it!
DeleteAnd delightful idea for a sign off - love it!! :-)
xoxox
Love you ...
PS thanks for doing ALL the driving....that is a loooooooong two days .....
DeleteI once taught this amazing woman to swim. She was an MD...could run really fast but had never learned to swim. I have always admired adults who can admit that they'd never learned to do something rather commonplace: read, swim, ride a bike, etc.
ReplyDeleteShe told me that cancer is inevitable and that if we all lived long enough, cancer would get anyone. Seems to be common because it is. It's the cure for immortality. Not just hypochondriacs live in fear of it.
Stay strong, Sista! XO
Thanks for the incredibly thought-provoking words, Racherella, and for sharing your story, your insight, your ever-inspiring musings.
DeleteAs you might imagine, having lost both parents and a brother to cancer, as well as a dear friend, uncle, and too many dear people to mention - I have always had a perverse fascination with this most dreaded and as you confirm, commonplace, of maladies. Along a similar vein to your student MD's claim, I once did work with a woman who talked about Type C personality; specifically, that cancer was psychologically based. In other words, that a traumatic emotional event would cause cells to change and morph in an adverse way and that these events - a divorce, a job loss, a death of a loved one etc - would create this cell change and cause cancer in that person 12-18 months later. As Linda Richman would prompt: "Discuss". Discuss indeed ...
Thanks again for being such an amazing pal ...je t'aime.