Dr Chemo: "No no no .. not six weeks ..six MONTHS!" Cancerella: "Duhhh. Mi scusa. I no speaka da good Hinglish"

Well ... greetings dear F Cubed (Friends, Family, Fond-Folks-in-General). Happy End-of-Hump-Day! My writing teachers way back when - I have very fond memories of them and that's the truth - taught me that for any written prose, there is an introduction, a middle, and a closing (paraphrasing here). So, I will introduce tonight's musings in a quintessentially Canadian - and candidly, rather inane way, affectionately speaking! Canadians love talking about the weather; it's a favorite past time....so, on that happy Canuck-y note, I am going to kick off tonight's fun by discussing the weather and what happened here today in the Land of Cancerella and Schifoman, from a weather perspective - OK - how excited are you folks? (I can sense your anticipation .... are you ready?)

It poured rain here today. Yes. It's true. Buckets and buckets of the stuff. I KNOW, right?! And then, it cleared up and the sun came out. I just don't have words to explain it beyond that. It rained; then it stopped. That's about it.

Gripping, right? Cancerella grows weary of this discussion... (I feel like Marlene Dietrich suddenly ... "I vant to be alone" - although I don't - I don't know why she popped into my head ....perhaps tomorrow, I will write this completely in the third person, just because.. and yet again, I digress). Enough of that white-knuckle, enthralling, can't-get-enough-Canadian-weather-trivia drama.

OK ....so, here's the drill. Met with Dr Chemo today. For the record, two things. One, in my world I have decided that Dr. Chemo's name is pronounced "cheemo" like "cheerios" - it's just, well, cheerier; two, Dr. Cheemo - ok, I changed the spelling too - was wearing navy blue today, and no tie - a modest, low key look. If you recall, the first time we met him, he was wearing a mint green shirt and bright tie - a very bold, forthright look for a straight man (go Dr. B!). So, the six weeks of cheemo? Well, that's only round one. The positive news is that I will be popping pills vs. being chained and hooked up to a pointy thing (ouch), an IV and a bag, which is the real Barf-a-Rama - blecchhh. So, I pop these pills - called Temodar - sounds like a character on Star Wars - for six weeks and I take them at the same time as the I-Am-Going-End-Up-With-Big-Bald-Spots-On-My-Head-Festival. This is going to be so much fun! Truly, it will be a cumulative zzzzzzzzzzzzzz kind of thing, but again, there is a positive side to this, in that these pills I'll be popping are a lower dose because of the fact that my head is getting nuked, and Temodar - the lower dose - is not a barfy, pukey kind of pill. Yeah! Glass half full, right? And not of barf!!

Sooooo then, the fun starts after the six week fun fest ends (say that five times fast) - oh I get a four week break - which I am going to use to stare at myself in the mirror and play with my colored markers ... to color in the bald spots, stick on the overly long extensions - just because, that's why - and start trying on my multitude of wigs to see how they look with this suit, that jacket, those party slacks....that, and I will be stroking the hair I have left. OK, I know that sounds mildly creepy and part of me don't give a s**t ... hehehe! Kidding! OK. Not kidding! I'm so conflicted! Waaaaaa! And do I edit that bad grammar or leave it in for comic effect? Waaaa!! So much conflict! hehehehe!! Kidding ... :-) ... kind of ...(true confessions) ....wow ...  blabbering....

So ... I have a four-week break - PARTY!!! - then I start on a stronger dose of the Star Wars Cheerios and I pop those bigger suckers for five days, then take three weeks off, then lather/rinse/repeat (and barf) for .. are you ready ... six months! YAAAAAAAHOO! So somewhere, this gal (Cancerella, Yours Truly et cetera et cetera) misunderstood the dear Dr. B, Mint-Green-Shirt-Doc last time, and thought "pfffffft ... six weeks ... no problem ... bring it ON! Cancerella can handle it!!! YEAH!!" ... so now that it's six months - and possibly more, I am contemplating, ruminating, pondering .... aaaaaaaaand ... full circle ... still thinking about the freaking hair thing! And yes - it would appear that I am beyond mildly obsessed, but wait - I figured out why. There was a social worker who joined us for the chat with Dr. Cheemo and she was very kind and sweet and asked great questions, and we talked about the whole hair thing. And she stated that yes, there will come a time when I will have to deal with the fact that once my hair starts falling out, the privacy issue will be no more. For the time being - i.e. now - it's still relatively private - I mean, you fine folks know: my dear friends and family, some wonderful, dear sweet folks at work, the people who hubby and I wanted to share this journey with because we love you and we know that you won't look at me with pity, but rather, that you are all here to help support hubby and me, to love us and help us get through this. When I go completely bald, that's when suddenly, my "secret" will be no longer, and now that I am writing this, I realize that those folks who may look at me strangely or with pity are folks that really don't matter to me ... a couple of years ago, they may have mattered, but now, those reasons no longer exist.

The point is that some bells rang for me today - picture the scene in the Sound of Music, when Julie Andrews was getting married and the giant clanging church bells - DING DONG DING DONG - swaying, swinging, singing ....I remembered that Dr. Cheemo did make a reference to a delayed reaction to hair loss the last time we met. So, I will be bald in time for fall/Christmas which is perfect!! Hat season. Scarf season. Wig season. There is a positive to every side of the story, right? :-) Speaking of wigs, I have one to add that I was sent today (thanks SK!!) and it's really all good. It's for the Fourth of July. :-) The other bells that rang relate to some of the revelations about myself ... more on that another time ... I've droned on long enough for tonight!

And ... on a final and incredibly positive note - courtesy of a dear, beautiful, friend (life long pal of hubby's - pals since they were kids - how's THAT for a faithful friend??) - I am unveiling my new logo/brand thingy/tagline - the Uber talented, creative and kind Mr. RM designed this bitchin' beautiful thing and I think you will agree that not only is it sassy and bright and groovy, but it is just so fitting now ... now that it's official ... the Itsnotta, the Svulst, the tuuuummmaaa ... so, here it is: my new motto:

Kiss my astrocytoma. YEAH! T-shirts are ordered (true) and I am stoked about wearing it. :-) A bajillion thank you's dear Mr. M.!

And on that happy note, I will sign off for this evening ... sending many hugs, kisses and much love your way and as always, a thousand thank you's for the giggles, guffaws and laughs, the support and love, the seemingly never-ending care and compassion - so SO glad you are all here with us...we couldn't do this without you ... God bless you all!!

Tonight's closing is a combo - a salute to Mr. M for designing the bitchin' image (love it!) - all wrapped in Uncle K's sweet warm embrace (I love dichotomy)

Love you all.

Hey! Kiss my Astrocytoma ...as you Radiate Love.:-)

Cancerella (and Schifoman!)

xoxoxoxo