Kiss my astrocytoma (pardon my French)

So ... the modus operandi for ce soir is short and sweet (hard to believe but true!) ... Dr L (my nuke doc) coughed up yesterday that my tuuuuummmaaaa (still awaiting clever code words for that nasty word ... had a great suggestion today ... romut .... thanks DB! :-) ...) is of the astrocytoma variety, so true to form, I did a Google search last night (the only kind that counts!) and as Elaine/Jerry would say " and yadda yadda yadda ...", there is some conflicting info on the web (from what I could even find - seems brain tumors are not that sexy really - I don't say that to be bitchy - I realize they are not as common as other sorts of cancer, and thus, do not garner as much attention - hmmmm .... now THERE'S a thought about how I might assist on a charitable level .... hmmm) ... so, reading up on what I could find on the astrocytoma type tumor is that:  a) it's the most common type of brain tumor (and here I am thinking I had something unique - dang! ;-) ...); b) that surgery is really the best way to treat it (dang again - no such luck there, as the location of my romut is too deep and as I quipped to the neuro-oncologist/surgeon a few weeks ago when he offered the option of surgery (and I had done my homework - straight A student through high school college/university, don't you know, and I am THIS close to getting my graduate degree, thank you very much!!), that it was too risky because of the location of this rumot and that it may mean having to learn to walk again, talk again and God forbid, that Bud (dear sweet hubby) might have to wipe my bum (poor bastard) and other equally unattractive actions - well, candidly - just not attractive options for a sharp, witty, young (relatively speaking) beotch like me, not to mention dear sweet Bud ... (although he would do it; no hesitation - now there's a dedicated partner, right?? "Lotion-coated bum wad, please, dear hubby. Thank you!" ... where was I? (is this a common theme? Discuss!) ... all that to say - surgery was not an option for my evidently common-type tumor as it's just too deep and it's in an area that affects too many important things like walking, talking and the ability to wipe one's own ass, for starters, so that was off the table. So, reading up on this whole astrocytoma thing, I realized last night that I hadn't quite prepared myself for some stuff ... all OK .... more later ....sooooo ... the instructions for this evening are: ruminate, ponder, reflect; then lather, rinse, repeat ... !

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand enough of that nonsense!! :-) Only reason I want more info is ... well ... why DO I want more info? As my friend Linda Richman would command: "Discuss!!" Seriously, let me think about that ... I will find out more next week when D. and I meet with chemo doc, Dr. B., forthright fellow who was wearing a mint green shirt when we first met him - a bold statement for a straight man - and I do not say that to be mean-spirited or catty, as truly some of my best pals are of the I-love-men-aka-gay-variety - where was I? (wow that happens a lot) ... so, Dr. B. of The Bold Shirt boldly (theme here) reconfirmed that because they could not have done surgery, that I would do the Hope-I-Don't-Puke-Fest to complement the Nuke-Fest. D. and I are meeting with him next Wednesday, so that he can confirm how big the chemo pill will be and how often I need to choke that back (with a lovely glass of Malbec, or if I'm feeling presumptuous, with a cheeky, forthright glass of Pinot Noir ... not before work though - nasty stuff, that!) or whether I will need to have the jab-me-with-a-needle-why-do-I-have-bruises-and-want-to-barf variety of chemo. OH ... I need to mention here (before signing off - again, in the spirit of TRYING to keep it short tonight) that the whole hair loss thing with radiation? Well ... not the whole head ... nooooooooooo ... patches and bald spots ... and the hair may or may not grow back. So, I am thinking all kinds of creative thoughts ... I could spray paint the bald spots different colors to match my daily outfits (check the recent version of Cancer Vogue ;-) ...); I could wear a Pat-Benatar type bandana to cover up my awkward bald spots (and decorate it with hubby's plastic googly eyes - that would be fun at work, right?? ;-) ...); or I could shave my entire head - just for shits and giggles THEN apply a henna tattoo - again, just for shits and giggles ....

Thoughts? Discuss ... :-) :-)

Pondering/ruminating on that last one .... hmmmmm ... :-)

More tomorrow (aren't you excited about that??) .. thanks again for joining me and hope you will be here for the unveiling of my master new persona, courtesy of Racherella (muchas gracias, Racherella!!)

Signing off for ce soir ... thank you again from the core of my being for your love, support, comments, feedback and hugs ... wishing you all love, hugs and warmth.  MWAH!

Tonight's send-off is courtesy of Ms. A.C. (thanks A.C.!) :-)

Stay witty and pritty (or pretty - votre choix, cheries!)

xoxoxoxo