T Minus 2 - Reprise + Full circle

Greetings dear family and friends. It's been a rather eventful few days and thus, the MIA from This Gal's online Gazette-cum-Comic-Book (at times). My I-Am-10-Pounds-Thinner-Wish-It-Was-For-A-Better-Reason physical self and my I-Am-Feeling-Rather-Sloooooow (Sometimes Slow Witted) intellectual self joined forces to protest this sudden burst of activity and essentially I was confined to a prone position most of yesterday in order to recuperate. Ah yes, the undeniable link between mind and body. The end of Cancerella's 33-Day-Plus-Carnival: Phase One cannot come soon enough. Two more days and to that I say thank GAWD.

I am so glad that the end of The-Laser-And-Eradicator-Merrymaking session is nearing its end, as I must admit that I have never felt so haggard. It's a weariness that permeates to the very core of my being. I suppose it makes sense, really, as both the radiation and the chemo are attacking both cancer cells (f**kers) and my healthy DNA, plus the fact that enduring these treatments simultaneously means double-plus-bad the side effects. Add to that, the radiation boost treatments are true to their moniker. They are kick-ass (i.e. kicking my skinnier, flabbier middle-aged ass), targeted beams aimed directly at The Tumaaaa, whereas the other treatments were of a broader scope. Still tiring on a cumulative level, but these boost babies are longer and much more intense. On a lighter note, I envision an intergalactic super shero with a high-powered laser beam gun thing-y (hey, I'm Canadian; we don't do guns ;-) ...) and she is nuking Los Tumor Cerebral. Yeah. Nuke those bad f**king cells. Por favor. Muchas gracias.

I'm so looking forward to waking up in a week or so and feeling a little more energized, with a little more appetite and just feeling less bleary and befuddled. On a positive note, no more headaches (YEAH - no steroids!) and oh, did I mention, only two more days? Ah yes, I did. Something to celebrate! On that happy note, a few high-level updates for y'all.

On Wednesday, Drew and I drove out to see The-Doctor-Formerly-Known-As-Dr-Mint-Green-Shirt-Now-Known-As-Dr-Ferragamo and to add to the delight of seeing him - not only is he entertaining, but also a damn fine doctor - he was actually wearing his blue suede Ferragamo loafers! Ooooh la la.

More importantly, though, my CBC (complete blood count) results came back normal - Hurrah! - so basically that means that I can enjoy an outing at Tarjaaaay or in other words, I can be around other normal people - recognizing that "normal" is a relative term - as my white blood cell counts, hemoglobin and platelets are all good. Thank GAWD for that (reprise). Something else to celebrate. So, I will see Dr. F. and the kind neuro-oncologist, the Doctor-Who-Drilled-The-Hole-In-My-Head in five weeks' time and before I see them both, I will have another MRI - one of many over the next couple of years. The MRI will advise all of us what shape The Tumaaaa is in; i.e. to what point IT has shrunk - the whole goal of this six-and-a-half-week-fun-fest, so I'm just waiting for the call as to when I will don yet another mask, get hooked up to an IV, be given a button to press if I start hyperventilating from being claustrophobic, then rest comfortably for two hours (HA!) in The Big Tube again. Fingers, toes, eyes crossed that the results will show that Le Tumeur, Il Tumore, IT has shrunk or at least been held at bay. Will cross that bridge when I come to it and will remain hopeful until then. Or as my dear uncle said to me late last week on a call: "Don't think too much." Good advice, that.





Initially, the plan was to have this past weekend be a celebration of the treatments being over and possibly heading to one of my beloved's favourite spots for his birthday. We did in fact celebrate his birthday on Thursday (his actual birthday) with a dear beautiful friend and had a delightful time. Simply and utterly delightful. One of life's many blessings - good friends, good food (or so they told me), good times - the stuff of which memories are made. Merci mille fois, JF, pour une soirée parfaite. Je t'aime beaucoup! Oh, as a sidebar, here's one of the many many reasons I married this man. Seriously, is he not gorgeous? Still makes my heart flutter.

And on the note of this past weekend, Drew and I attended a fabulous barbecue with the dear folks with whom I work; i.e. our team. Truth be told, I was feeling mildly apprehensive about going - and I do mean mildly, with the primary reason being that I was concerned about keeping my energy levels up. On the handful of outings I have taken over the past few weeks, the last few grains of sand have filtered through to the bottom of the hourglass at about the two-hour mark.

To a much lesser extent, I must admit that I was feeling a wee bit anxious about the hair thing. Goofy, I know, but it's the first time I've been at an event with a larger group of people I know. It was akin to exposing myself on an entirely different level and after all, there's a first for everything. In the end, my anxiety was all for naught. Hat came off, I did not feel at all awkward - despite what the radiation has done to my funky Mohawk - and I am so thankful to all the wonderful people who were there for making me feel comfortable, supported, loved, "normal" as it were. And the best part is, the hourglass kicked in at four hours - incroyable! It was truly a delightful, lovely event and Drew and I are so thankful to our unbelievably gracious hostess and host and to each and every one of my esteemed, caring and considerate colleagues and friends for their grace and kindness. Another of God's many blessings.

On that happy note, This Gal needs another nap. Only two more days. And yes, I know I have now said that three times. What can I say, but the finish line is within reach and ringrazio Dio for that. Thanking each and every one of you - as always - for your love, cards, very funny postcards (!), texts, emails, phone calls, FaceTime calls and never-ending support, compassion and encouragement. I love you all from the bottom of my heart. Truly, utterly, completely (as opposed to "truly, madly, deeply" - ah yes, those one-hit wonders Savage Garden. Remember them?)

And I have taken the liberty of mildly tweaking Racherella's sign-off (thanks R!!). Hugs and tanti baci.

Stay Tuned as Cancerella Comes Back Soon From Being Gone Fishin'

Cancerella, Beauderello, e I Due Gatti
xoxoxoxox