So, last Monday I went to see my epilepsy doc. Yes, my epilepsy doc. Forgive me for not remembering this (see note above re: forgetting things), but I'm not sure if I told you fine folks that I was also diagnosed with epilepsy as well as a brain tumour? The irony about the tumour shrinking is that it may cause seizures to increase. Long story that I won't get into here. Suffice to say, the meds Doc K prescribed to me to prevent seizures are working. No weird episodes (touch wood) and as long as I keep that up until November 24, this gal will be able to drive again. Thank the good Lawd above! (It is a must to have a car in this state). The moral of this story is that all is well on the E front - yahoo! Don't see Dr. K (no cute nicknames for him - not feeling particularly creative today) for another three months. Nice guy but frankly, I'm getting just a wee bit tired of doctors.
On an entirely different happy note, two of my dearest friends - MS and LAP - flew me up to My-Home-And-Native-Land this past weekend for a relaxing sojourn at my pal MS's cottage. I must admit I was a little anxious about the trip. The whole airport experience, for starters. It's been a while since I've flown and my "home" airport is not exactly known for being kind and gentle. In fact, it's one of the busiest airports in the US, not to mention the fact that it was in the news recently because of its TSA agents sleeping on the job, stealing, all kinds of events that instill confidence and a sense of well-being (!#?). In fact, they made me take my cap off (which I expected) but the esteemed agent didn't make the dudes with baseball caps behind me take theirs off. WTF, right? What-the-f**k-ever. I digress yet again. I was also worried about how my energy would hold up, the whole appetite thing, and just the fact that I have been somewhat house-bound and very low key these past few weeks. A big scary trip. Imagine - me, who used to travel everywhere for a living ... being nervous about getting on an airplane and taking a short trip. Different circumstances this time around - that's my defense!
Well, I survived the flight and all of that ancillary stuff and the entire weekend was exactly what I needed. So incredibly relaxing, filled with wonderful chats, innumerable gut-busting laughs, fantastic sleeps (complete and utter darkness and zero noise - heaven!) and I actually managed to eat some solid food (it looked delicious)! And if that weren't enough, my friends went above and beyond and planned a whole bald solidarity event. The gesture touches me to the very core of my being and while we had countless laughs while getting ready for the pics, the fact that they thought of it in the first place, that they planned it, that they put themselves in my shoes ... well, that means more to me than I can begin to describe here.
Oh, and my leave has been extended until September 30. Despite the divertimento this past weekend (I slept most of Monday and Tuesday to recover!), the truth is that it is just too early for this gal to go back to work, for a myriad of reasons and docs thoroughly concur. The continued fatigue. The prolonged and much-needed recovery from the physical "beating" of six and a half weeks of combined treatments. The need for my brain to recover both physically and intellectually, not to mention psychologically. And the uncertainty of how the chemo will affect me on its own (vs. combined with the radiation) is just too large a risk to take in a work environment. Not only are there potential side effects from the chemo that include fatigue, mental fogginess, nausea and more, but the social and psychological pressure to be up, happy and social in a work environment is that much more stressful when one does not know how one might react to strong, toxic medication. So while there is a part of me that wants to go back, I have also learned to accept my limitations (a lesson for everyone; i.e. not just folks who suffer from cancer ... just sayin'..."discuss" ...) and accepting things as they are.
I remain so very thankful for the gift of each and every day and for the love and support of family and friends, for the phone calls, emails, texts and the innumerable cards. So many! Thanks to S&P K for your kind words, to DW (so so sweet), to H&S M (loved the card, and yes, H, I can read your writing!), cousin S (thanks for thinking of me all the way from Croatia!), the M clan (you all ROCK!), to KL for the never-ending love and support, to CF per le sue belle parole, to DO'C (love you too cugina), to Racherella for the never-ending giggles with the diary cards. :-) Sincere apologies if I forgot someone - I have a huge display that features every card and there are just so many it's overwhelming in the BEST possible way. Love you all and thank you again for accompanying both Drew and me on this journey. It's what makes life worth living and what really matters ... all that matters. Love, health, family, friends. And as horrible as The Big C is, there is always a positive side to things - as long as one looks for it. The whole glass half-full approach. It just puts it all into perspective. What matters, that is. So thank you all for reminding me and my fantabulously spectacular man Drew (I could not do this without him. Thank GOD for Drew!) of what matters.
Wishing you all a grand day.
All our love,
Cancerella, Budereaux et Les Deux Chats
xoxoxoxox
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