Eureka! Two different countdowns! It's contest time!

Greetings to you all on this beautiful Saturday. Hoping the clouds finally parted where you are, as they did here, and that you are enjoying some late afternoon rays ("Don't forget your sunscreen". "Yes Mom"). It actually feels like spring, and the birds are singing, the chipmunks are chirping, and even the groundhogs came out for a tour. I love it when that happens - everything is in bloom in our back yard and it's gorgeous. Perspective, right?

 I wasn't going to write today but thought I needed to for a couple of reasons; the first one is that I need to stop and count my blessings, as I have been feeling a little cranky and overwhelmed the past few days. I suppose that's normal; I mean, I think everything finally hit me on Thursday when I went for my first Melon Fest - that Holy Shit, I have a freakin' brain svulst. I hate it when that happens. Plus, I think I have been suffering from a mild case of I-Have-This-Completely-Under-Control-And-Nothing-Is-Going-To-Change. And it hit me ....after just two treatments of the old Nuk-o-rama, and two of those Gawd awful pills (yup, felt sick again last night - blecchhh), that maybe, just maybe, I won't be able to be Super Woman and go into work every day, and pretend like everything is just "normal". It's a different, new kind of "normal", at least for the next little while, and I need to realize that, and I am admitting to you all here - publicly (holy shit) - that maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was. Wait. No, that's not it. Nope. I think it's more that maybe it's realizing that I have to take care of me and that if I don't take of myself physically, then emotionally and psychologically, everything will be out of sync. After all, it's all connected and if one thing is out of balance, then everything is out of balance.

It's a lot to process. A lot to think about. A lot. 

The other thing I thought of is that I actually have two countdowns for Phase One; yup, two, not one. The 30-day thing (like that bad movie Sandra Bullock was in a few years ago, or was it 28 days? Whatever - doesn't matter!) is just the Head-Blaster-Thing; the Gosh-I-Hope-I-Don't-Feel-Like-Barfing-EVERY-Night thing is actually 42 days. Hmmm .... I'm thinking I need two calendars? Or maybe two different colored markers? Or an X in one color, and an F-U in another? Your thoughts/opinions/feedback are most, most welcome. The more creative and outrageous the better, as I am thinking I am needing something funny and crazy to get through this. Maybe it's this G-D head cold - I mean really?? A head cold? How untimely and obnoxious .... seriously though, folks, I welcome your ideas on how to Count-Down-The-Two-Treatment-Thingies.



And I know I said two things, and I veered off topic on the first one - i.e. counting my blessings (apologies for that ...) so here I go. (Ahem ahem. Is this on?) I am thankful for the ability to see beautiful flowers, lush green trees, sweet lightning-quick chipmunks. I am thankful for the ability to hear cardinals, chickadees and robins singing, children laughing as they enjoy a bike ride, and Edgar Winter Group playing Free Ride! (yup, that is what is currently playing) I am thankful for beautiful sunny days like today, for the feel of a lovely spring breeze across my face, for the smell of freshly laundered sheets. I am thankful for the ability to walk, to drive (oh wait - not until November 24! ;-) ...), to speak, to write, to eat, to drink, to think, to laugh, to love, to feel happiness. I am thankful for amazing doctors who take good care of me. I am thankful for caring, generous employers who have been so kind to me. I am thankful for loving, supportive, empathetic and encouraging friends and family. I am thankful for an adorable, cozy house, and the darling sweet husband and two kitty cats who make it a warm, comfortable, loving home. I will continue to count my blessings as I have so much for which to be thankful - including you wonderful readers. Thank you all for bearing with the ups and downs of my ongoing journey and for your continued love and support.

Perspective. Glass half full. Think positive. Deep cleansing breath. (must do more yoga)



Signing off, dear friends, family and dear readers. Wishing you a tremendous rest-of-the-weekend and thanks to Uncle K. for an appropriate sign-off.

Radiating Happiness.

Cancerella, Dr. B. and The Two Kitties
xoxoxox