Jaunty chapeau? Stylish wig? Shave it and have my own Supermoon? Decisions, decisions ....

Greetings to you all on this Day-After-the-Supermoon, to the Power of Two. Why to the Power of Two, you might ask? Well, This Gal has starting developing her own Supermoon. That's right. The hair loss has begun. Now, I should qualify that statement by saying that the hair loss is because of the Nuk-o-Rama - i.e. Hair's-Worst-Enemy when one is getting nuked in the MELON. I had read about this, and my kind radiation oncologist Doc (the one that hugs me) had forewarned me. It's not because of the chemotherapy; if it was, it would all be falling out, not just on one side! So, when I stepped into the shower this morning and that awesome, massive rain shower head hit This Gal's head and I looked down and GASP!*! - there were bunches of hair swirling about the drain - taunting me - I thought to myself: "Well, holy s**t. Today it begins. How ironic!"

Sigh. Another milestone, I suppose.

When I look at myself in the mirror, the hair on my left side is decidedly thinner. So, I will see how it goes. Until it gets really weird looking, then I'll just wear a cap if I have to go out in public (highly unlikely - see below!). A wig is just not something that appeals to me at this point, and frankly, if it looks weird and patchy, then, f**k it, I am going to shave my head. In fact, I know there are charities for The Dreaded Big C that raise money by folks shaving their heads, and it's no small surprise that women raise exponentially more money than men do by shaving their melons. I will have to look that up when I'm not so bloody tired. Oy. If I shave my head, then I think it will all grow back? (question mark intentional, as I've read that in some cases, the hair that is lost during Nuke-a-Noodle fests doesn't always grow back). And if it doesn't, then I will think about a wig.

I went into the office today for 30 minutes. The group I work for has moved into a spanking brand new building right next door to the building I used to work at and I now have this beautiful space, with a gorgeous view of trees, floor-to-ceiling windows and awesome neighbors. Now, before anyone asks why I went into work, and on a Sunday, for starters, I didn't want to come back to work in a few weeks and have to unpack my stuff then; second, this very nice admin offered to unpack but as kind as her offer was, I just couldn't bring myself to have her unpack my things; and finally, I knew I wouldn't run into that many people if I came in first thing on a Sunday morning. And by that last comment I mean this: yesterday, for example, I went to Marshall's - my favorite store and one where I hadn't been to in a while - as a dear friend was kind enough to give me a gift card, so hubby dropped me off at Marshall's and I swear I was exhausted after 20 minutes. It was the same today at the office - 30 minutes and I was absolutely spent. It wasn't necessarily the physical exercise of pulling file folders and personal paraphernalia out of boxes; it was just being upright, being "on" ... not that I had to be "on" at Marshall's but being out in public is a lot more work and a lot more tiring than I imagined it would be.

And so, the timing for my going out on leave is perfect. I just don't have the energy right now to be around folks and I need to recharge my batteries. I can't even imagine doing work from home at this point either, because as the days progress, I just find myself more and more tired. Today, in fact we came home after having brunch with this same dear friend and her hubby and their awesome little girl - and I had to lie down. I was so tired; I had a little cat nap on the way home in the car. Yoiks. I then had a little nap in the hammock (and my soon-to-be-bald-head will be the perfect Homerella ;-) ...) and then had to come inside as it was 93 degrees F; just a tad too warm. Plus, the literature says to stay out of the sun, and it's not the usual "UV rays are bad for you" kind of schtick, but with the drugs I'm taking, I really need to stay out of the sun. And when we got home, the sun was too in-my-face. Shame, really, as that hammock is my new BFF.

So, there you have it. The latest and greatest. Female radiation-onset-patchy-baldness. Check. Fatigue. Check. Wavering appetite. Check. Every day is different and I'm just going with it. :-) Thanks - as always - for reading, and for your kind notes and wonderful support. It truly means the world to me ... thank you all. Tonight's sign off courtesy of Racherella (XO), as the sentiment below is kind of how I feel right at the moment....as I said, tomorrow may be different!

Gone Fishin'

Cancerella, Buderello, Gooferella and Nobelina (the cats) :-)
xoxoxoxo